not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection
rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come
A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.
PE is 5% exorcise and 95% embarrassment
what kind of gym class do you have that exorcises their kids
I laughed so fucking hard jesus
you put the condom on your dick
but you don’t actually do any fucking
it’s a metaphor
I can’t get laid
Julie Andrews on how she got the part in Mary Poppins.
when walt fucking disney waits for you then you are the absolute queen of everything
"i wish platonic dates were a thing" have you never gone out anywhere with any of your friends ever
Ylvis, educating people about the female reproductive system.
these guys will be the death of me.[x]
i died at the pH value
I just learnt more about the vagina in like 10 seconds than I have ever learnt in my entire life
Debating whether or not I should share this with my anatomy and physiology professor.
WATCH THE VIDEO. IT GETS BETTER
OH THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS MAGNIFICENCE INTO MY LIFE
I’M ACTUALLY DYING OMG THIS IS BRILLIANT
no thank you
GOOD FUCKING BYE TO THAT
*prints this tweet, rolls a cigarette with it, and puts it between my teeth without lighting it*
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